Pushing Through Pain to Find Purpose: A Lesson From Spice

Introduction

This is the hardest post I have ever written. For weeks I avoided it, knowing the moment I sat down to put my thoughts into words, I would be forced to face the memories and the pain I’ve carried for some time. But I also knew that writing this was necessary, not only for my own healing, but for anyone else who may be walking through their own pain.

Being vulnerable and facing pain takes authenticity and courage. This may not always feel safe or comfortable, but it is valuable and an essential part of the healing process. Once I gave myself permission to be raw, authentic, and open, I began to release some of the weight of my grief. Allowing myself to feel fully, rather than hide behind strength, helped transform the pain into understanding, and made the healing process more meaningful. It also made me realize that there is support around you and available to you, if you are willing to see and embrace it.

I don’t want you to feel sad reading this. My heart’s sincerest intention for writing this post is that you feel encouraged, comforted, and inspired to push through whatever pain you may be carrying, and to find the purpose that waits on the other side. It is also to ask that you give yourself permission to show yourself some grace, patience, compassion, and unconditional love as you open your heart to this healing process. You deserve that and are worth that grace and compassion.

This post is about my beautiful dog, Spice who was my North Star, my spirit animal, and the most loyal companion I could have ever asked for. She taught me more about love, courage, and purpose than any human ever has. And today, I want to honor her by sharing the lesson she left me on pushing through pain to find a greater purpose in it.

Spice’s Purpose

Spice was by my side for over twelve years, and every single day she reminded me what unconditional love looks like.

The last six years of her life were filled with challenges: four surgeries, countless vet visits, and a battle with cancer. Yet, through it all, Spice never once let pain or illness define her. Her purpose in this world was crystal clear to her: to love me, protect me, and never leave my side.

And she lived out that purpose with everything she had.

Despite whatever discomfort she must have felt, she never showed it to me. She still insisted on going for her daily walks. She still followed me from room to room, as if making sure I was never alone. She still licked my face every day, just as a mother dog would lick her puppy, reminding me of her care and devotion. She never missed a single car ride or errand. She chased squirrels in the park daily. Every summer for those last six years she swam for hours on end in the lake, with selective hearing when it was time to leave (she never wanted to leave). She lived her best and fullest life with every fiber of her being despite her health issues and pain. And as hard as it sometimes is, this has taught me now how to live my best and fullest life, even in her absence. Even when I feel pain in my heart.

From the moment I brought her home, she understood her assignment. She showed up every day as her best self. She was loyal, loving, and determined. Spice didn’t let pain, illness, or fear stop her from living her destiny. And in doing so, she became my greatest teacher. She was my wise, ascended master in disguise as a 78-pound, goofy, naughty, slobbery, sassy, talking-back part-husky who truly believed she was a human (and the boss… which remains debatable to this day).

Why I Write

I started this website, Advice from Julie and Spice, about a month before she passed. In my heart, I think I knew her time with me was running short, even if I didn’t want to admit it. But I also knew I wanted to share the incredible lessons she taught me about life and love, because her wisdom was too powerful to keep to myself and served a greater purpose for humanity.

Her passing was both expected and unexpected. I knew it was coming one day, yet when it happened, it was sudden and I was unprepared for the silence that followed. Losing her was like losing a part of my soul. But even in the midst of that heartbreak, I began to see that her journey (and my grief) was not wasted or in vain, but rather meant to be used for a higher purpose and service to this world.

Lessons from Pain

What I’ve learned through this experience is simple but profound: pain is not meaningless. It can destroy us, or it can define us. We get to choose.

Spice inspired me to let my pain shape me into someone stronger, more compassionate, and more purposeful. She taught me to sit with my grief, face it, and walk through it. I was facing pain not just for myself, but so I could continue to show up in the world for the people who need me: my coworkers, my family, my friends.

And she reminds me she is still with me. Just yesterday, I changed into sneakers for my lunch walk at work, and there it was: a few of Spice’s hairs still tucked inside my shoes, months later. To anyone else, it may not have meant much. To me, it was her quiet way of saying, “I’m still here. I never left you.”

This is the kind of pain that is really love in disguise. It reveals the magnitude of the bond two souls can share. And while the silence of her absence can still bring me to tears, those tears are reminders that I was blessed to experience something extraordinary.

The Gift

Not everyone gets to experience a love like this in their lifetime. I had twelve years with my compass, my anchor, my “Spice of Life.”

The depth of my grief reflects the depth of the love we shared. And for that, I am forever grateful.

If you are facing your own pain, whether from loss, illness, or a different kind of hardship, know this: you are not alone. You may be surprised at how friends, family, and even strangers will show up for you. And you have a choice in how you walk through it.

Let your pain define you in a way that creates beauty, purpose, and strength. Let it inspire you to show up for others. And know that you will find light on the other side of it.

Closing

Spice’s spirit continues to guide me, reminding me that love never dies. Her legacy is alive in every lesson I share here.

May her story remind you, as it reminds me, that even in our deepest pain, there is purpose waiting to be found.

Forever grateful for my North Star,
my compass,
my Spice of Life.