Remembering Spice, My Messy Teacher
Life isn’t always neat or polished. And maybe it isn’t supposed to be. Some of the best moments come out of the chaos, the imperfections, and yes, the mess.
I know this because of Spice. She filled my life with love, laughter, and lessons I’ll carry forever. One of the greatest was this: life gets messy, and that’s okay.
Spice never shied away from dirt. If there was mud, she’d find it. If there was grass to roll in, she was there with her tail wagging, tongue out, completely unapologetic. She even loved going out in the rain with me, coming home soaking wet and covered in mud. My car still bears the reminders of her slobber on the windows and the dirt in her “copilot seat.” I see it now as a gentle reminder to dive into life’s messes with curiosity and determination, rather than avoiding them.
What the Mess Really Means
To me, her muddy paws were once just something to clean up. But looking back, I see so much more. Spice taught me that the mess is part of the joy. That life doesn’t need to look neat or polished to be beautiful.
In the beginning, I’ll admit I struggled with it. I was constantly washing bed sheets filled with dirt and hair, and I vacuumed obsessively every day. Like so many people who let their dogs share their beds, I found the hair both comforting and frustrating at the same time. Yet somewhere along the way, I stopped seeing it as a burden and started finding peace in it. That mess meant she was there beside me, filling my life and my home with her presence. Now, I’d give anything to pull back the covers and find her dirt and hair again. It was love woven into the mess.
She loved immersing herself in mud and messes. The dirtier, the better. She rolled in it, became it, accepted and embraced it. She never saw it as a bad thing, and because of her, I’ve learned to be comfortable with life’s unexpected and unplanned disasters. The old me would have avoided even the slightest discomfort or uneasiness, and I used to feel embarrassed about my past and its messes. Now I realize they are blessings, part of a beautiful and intricately woven tapestry of love that was meant to unfold exactly this way. When I look back on it all now, it brings tears to my eyes. The beauty was never in the perfection, but in the mess itself, which was always part of the journey.
Lessons from “Mistakes”
I used to see my life’s wrong turns as failures. But Spice’s carefree attitude helped me reframe them. She reminded me that what feels messy or imperfect often becomes the very thing that shapes us into who we’re meant to be.
Some of my biggest “mistakes” actually led me to my purpose, my people, and my path. I wouldn’t undo them, even if I could.
The Courage to Be Authentic
Spice never worried about appearances. She showed up exactly as she was: muddy face, dirty paws, full heart. Watching her made me braver about being my authentic self too.
The truth is, being real matters more than being perfect. And those who love you will still love you (even with your dirt, scars, and flaws). My “tribe” and “my family” love me when I don’t comb my hair or brush my teeth. They have seen me at my worst and treat me the same as when I am at my best. If there is a disagreement or rough patch, we work through it with compromise and unconditional respect and love for each other. Therefore, I go out into the world each day with my heart blazing, as my raw authentic self, with the courage, passion, determination and conviction that I am a loving soul who has been dropped on this planet temporarily, as the instrument and pen in the hand of my creator, to share these words and lessons to heal and inspire others (while bringing the community together through love and humor).
Carrying Her Spirit Forward
Though she isn’t here physically anymore, her spirit stays with me. She left behind more than paw prints. She left a legacy of joy, authenticity, and courage to embrace the messiness of life.
I want to live the way she played: hard, wholeheartedly, and without fear of what others might think. And I know she would want you to do the same.
For my beloved rescue dog and best friend of 12 years: My "Spice of Life"
This post is for you, sweet girl. Thank you for teaching me that muddy paws, messy moments, and imperfect days are all part of a beautiful life. You lived with joy, and because of you, I’m learning to do the same.
Life isn’t meant to be spotless. It’s meant to be lived. And if it gets messy along the way? That just means you’re playing hard. You are forever in my heart. I love you always.
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