Embracing Diverse Friendships

One of the best things my dog Spice taught me over the years was how to meet and make new friends with those who were different from us. And Spice always approached meeting new friends with gentleness, curiosity, and a sense of wonder. Meeting people on a walk or at the park was sometimes intimidating. Opening up my heart to others was challenging and sometimes evoked hesitance or vulnerability, in fear of being hurt, judged, or accepted by others.

This was the first of many great lessons Spice taught me. Yes, we are all different, and we may all look different, but we are actually quite the same “at heart”. We all seek out companionship and friendships. We all want to be loved and accepted for who we are, as we are. We all share a common thread: hearts with the capacity to love, to share, to forgive, to inspire, to comfort, to guide, to empower, to heal, and to unite humanity.

We can all teach and learn from each other. We challenge each other to grow through our unique preferences and differences. We come in all different shapes and sizes, from several social and economic backgrounds, with varied passions and interests, preferring to eat different foods and listening to a diverse collection of music. We make different choices on a daily basis and sometimes choose unique walks of life. But what an opportunity and gift this is to embrace. How wonderful this melting pot of creativity and diversity truly is!

I have always been somewhat shy, but Spice’s soul and energy was so overwhelmingly intense and great that it burst out into the stratosphere from her little 78 pound dog body. She was my great Central Sun, the blinding beaming light you could not ignore that used her super charged insanely magnetic energy to cosmically attract anyone and everyone to us. Spice was my spirit animal who catapulted me against my will to be social in conversations and around the community. She taught me to approach every person and animal with divine reverence, enthusiasm, unconditional love, playful innocence, and a big beaming smile.

And she did it unapologetically as her overbearingly wonderful raw, authentic, open and honest self, despite what other dogs, pets and people around us thought or said. And this taught me over the past decade to stop obsessing and caring what others thought about me and instead embrace and cultivate the confident and loving light I am, whose life purpose was to spread love while healing and impacting humanity with the gifts and talents unique to me. Spice knew at 8 weeks old and 8 pounds of furry spunk who she was, her value, and why she was put on this earth (aside from being my spirit guide): to teach unity through diversity, unconditional love, acceptance, forgiveness, grace, compassion, humility, and how to be a best friend.

The friends we have made through our daily walks have proven to be some of deepest, most profound, authentic and inspiring relationships we’ve been gifted. They have also helped us to share our time and talents with others, to heal deep wounds in us and others, to learn new things, to challenge our existing beliefs and core values, to create a life of beauty and purpose for our community, to be bold in facing fears, to forgive ourselves and others who have hurt us deeply, to humble ourselves and ask for forgiveness, to accept what we can and cannot change in life and to dare to dream bigger than anything previously thought possible.

Spice truly was my very best friend and my “Spice of life”, as I called her. She was the single greatest, most impactful encounter of unconditional love and acceptance that I have experienced on this earth (and was blessed with for 12 1/2 years). As part of Spice’s legacy of lessons on love and life left behind, and to honor her memory, I share the pictures in this post so her love continues to bless, to heal, to inspire, and to put a smile on your face.

Spice earned the trust and respect of her two Swan friends at the park near our house rather quickly and easily. I think it was because Spice was bold and tenacious, despite the swans bullying her and flapping their wings at her while hissing. It was then that she taught me how to face fears head on and not back down to anyone, no matter how scared I may be. And her seemingly calm appearance and demeanor, stubborn steady approach, and pure intentions and good heart won the swans over to the point that they trusted Spice by sharing their families and swim time with her. They ultimately accepted her as one of their own and would begin swimming daily together. They also challenged Spice (and me) to be bold and brave by testing our limits of what we previously thought was possible.

The Swans guided Spice out farther and farther across the lake each day. I would see her turn her head back every now and again to look for guidance and assurance from me. And although I was scared sometimes of having to trust her and how far out she would swim in the lake, I did not let her know or see my own fear. Instead I would cheer her on, praise and encourage her, tell her to keep going, and would take videos of her swimming with the swans. One day they reached land on the other side of the lake and it was a truly remarkable and magical moment of accomplishment. Spice and I had grown from this experience. Had we not opened our minds and hearts up to making friends with the Swans we would not have been blessed with the memories, videos and growth.

Her ladybug friend taught her to treat all souls we encountered, big or small, with gentleness and as sacred creatures worthy of our time, attention, love, and respect. The lady bug also taught us to be mindfully present of our surroundings as we looked for the hidden gems nature gives us. Spice and I met several turtles in the woods that were always as friendly and curious about us as we were of them. Over time Spice made me walk slowly for hours on end with these turtles. She never wanted to leave them and many times would lie down in defiance, refusing to move when I told her we had to head home. It taught me to slow down and savor life, to be fully immersed in these sacred moments, and to always carve out time to cultivate our friendships.

The Frog loved to camouflage himself in the leaves and drove both Spice and I nuts, hopping and dragging us throughout the woods in a game of hide and seek. As annoying as this frog was (to me, not to Spice as she loved him and was fascinated by him), he helped me remember that childlike version of myself many moons ago who saw life as an epic adventure to tackle with awe and wonder, embracing my inner child-like spirit and playfulness. There was no concern on my part of time or bills or the endless to do list or worries of future events that hadn’t even happened yet. I forgot all about my ego and mind, while losing track of time while on these frolics through the woods with Spice and our frogs. There was simply me, Spice, our frog friends and this forest that we were running, hoping, and laughing through. Looking back now, as Spice and I continued to play “find the frog” throughout the forest, having fun and being truly immersed in a moment, I learned what was truly joyful in life and that there isn’t actually a “plan” or “destination” or “goal”. The point was to enjoy the journey in that particular moment, being absorbed in that moment while “letting go” of yourself to laugh, play, and “just be”.

Spice was a great protector of me, to include our yard and my garden, aside from constantly digging holes in the ground to burrow in. This one bunny would come by daily and taunt us by eating all our carefully planted flowers, getting just close enough to us to make her presence known, but far enough away to make her great escape when Spice would try to catch her. And Spice never wanted to catch or hurt this bunny. Spice loved the thrill of the “chase” and game that she and the bunny played each day. Spice would go to the window, look and wait for the bunny to show up, go nuts when she did, and then when I opened the front door would then take 20 minutes (no joke) slowing stalking and carefully moving at a snails pace to see how close she could get before the bunny would hop off.

And I loved watching Spice watch the bunny and carefully and stealthily hunt the bunny down. I must have at least 15 different videos of this. Through this life lesson Spice taught me the value of patience, persistence, determination and the art of how to “stare” someone down in a playful jest. However, the bunny taught Spice and I even more. For one, I no longer cared about or got upset about all my plants and flowers being eaten or ruined. I learned to share what I have with others from my heart, and to realize what truly matters in life, letting go of the small stuff. The bunny also taught Spice and me resilience, patience, compromise, and to see the opportunity to take care of and love others.

Lastly was Spice’s closest friend, a stray cat. Over a 5-year period I watched these two go from being sworn enemies to being very loving and close friends. Similar to the Swans, when Spice got too close rather than running away the cat would hiss at Spice. This was Spice’s cue and she knew to stop and lie down from a distance. And then they would both just lie there, inches apart and stare at each other until I would insist we continue our walk or go to another activity. This cat taught Spice to respect people’s boundaries, that sometimes we must love others from a distance, and we need to meet people where they are at, going at their pace of comfort. They would look for each other every day, several times a day. Sometimes I would find the cat waiting for us outside by the deck. And if not, Spice would go over to where the cat usually stayed, or go to the door, bark, and then lead me straight to all the cat’s regular resting spots.

If I could offer one thing from this article to you it would be this: nurture and create loving friendships with people you normally would not. For these are the very people who will surprise you by celebrating and accepting you just as you are. Challenge each other, love each other, learn from each other, forgive each other, and support each other.